Doris 的个人资料回忆的匣子照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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11月13日 告一段落了我知道关心我的朋友都从我的部落格看见我生活的近况。
这回忆的匣子，还没装载满一百篇故事，就被决定关闭了。
离开的原因？天下无不散之筵席吧！
感谢这些日子以来在我的小匣子内装进问候与关怀的人们；
感谢这些日子以来静静的看我的故事然后在现实生活里给予力量的人们；
感谢这些日子以来的体验。
这匣子会不会在未来还有重新开启的一天，我现在也说不上来。
希望大家好好过日子。
希望大家都很幸福！
I know there are many friends who care for me have always know about my recent life via my blog. I call this place the box of memory where I keep my life and experiences. One thing that I never expect from myself is: I will make this decision to close this box before it reaches 100 memories. What makes me go? Well, let's say with the Chinese quote, where it means no gathering shall remain undismissed (let me know if there's one with similar meaning, but in English).
Allow me to express my heartiest gratitude to those who have sent their kind concern and care, who have gave me strength in real life, and the very valuable life experiences.
I am sorry that I do not know now if this box shall re-open in future.
I wish everyone good life.
I wish everyone love. 11月4日 第九十二篇 有多少情形会发生这样的情况： 你在家，然后你的手机响，一看，来电显示是家里打来的电话？
人家或许会说：“当家人想找你，但（1）他们不知道你在家里；（2）你家太大了，他们找不到你，唯有直接找跟你最亲近的-手机” (除非你的贴身内衣底裤会响)。
如果是前者，这很平常。如果是后者，你如果不是什么有钱人，可能就会讨人打 - 臭个什么屁？家里是皇宫啊？
我家不大。
很普通的店屋式房子。
底楼是办公室，上一层是爸妈的房间，再上一层就是我的房间。
但是很多时候，爸妈懒惰用丹田气的时候，还是会拿起电话：你在哪里？
电话开起来，我爸看着我进家门的，我妈没在房间。 所以，我估计是爸妈又懒惰用丹田气了，所以打算开起电话第一句就说：“我在你房里。”
“多丽丝你在哪里？”
我爸妈不会叫我这个名字。
我弟也不会。
“我说你用我家电话打电话给在家的我？我在我妈房间，你在哪里？”
“你在你妈房间喔？我来找你。”
她是第一个创下这个纪录的人。
还有谁？
小蔓啦！
一个月没见到，瘦了 （“没你的事，你管我！”）。
一个月没顶撞，陌生了 （“你拿手机套丢我！”）。
一个月没聊天，消息落后了 （“我看报纸！”）。
那是什么画面？
原来，有些东西，在你不以为意了之后感觉就变了。
是的。
比如不会再几乎打在一起的相互作弄。
比如不会再滔滔不绝或自然的取笑着。
比如不会很坦然地把心里话认真的聊。
比如不会很享受那个用心支持的力量。
交情没有变坏。
只是，
更没有变好。
亲切的小动作也没在了。
不会表达自己的在意的话，不如就专心谈恋爱好了。
只要知道真的需要彼此的时候，对方一定会义不容辞，
那，
就好了。
就够了。
不是我不知足，只是我知道当下并没有这个空间让我存在。
因为我不知道怎样成为你的知己。
Under what circumstance would a situation like this happen: you're home and your cellphone rings. It shows the ID: from HOME. People might say, "when your family wants to reach you, but (1) they don't know you're home; or (2)you live in a mansion and it's very difficult for them to find where exactly you are so they have to get to the one closest to you - your cellphone" (unless your brief or bra ring). It's common if it's the earlier; but if it's the latter and you aren't really someone very rich, you might probably ask for a beat up or something - what? you live in a palace ah, perasan!~
My house isn't big. A very common kind of shop-house where office can be found at ground floor, parents' room in first floor and my room at second floor. However, there are still times when my parents are too lazy to open up their voice to find their kids, so they'll pick up the phone and ask, "where are you?"
My dad saw me came in from outside and my mom's not in the room. So I thought it's either one of them is lazy again so I thought of answering, "I'm in your room" when I pick up the phone.
"Where are you, doriskoon?"
Of course my parents not going to call me with that name!
Neither will my brother.
"You use my house's phone to call me and ask me, who's at home, where am I? I'm in my mom's. Where are you?"
"You are at your mom's? I'll come to you."
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome this first one to make such record of my house.
Who's she?
Who else? MOON lah!~
Didn't see her for a month, lost weight though ("none of your business!");
Didn't tease for a month, feel stranger though ("hey you throw me with your cellphone's pouch!");
Didn't talk for a month, outdated though ("I read newspaper!").
What picture does it portray in mind?
Certain feelings change when things were left anattended.
Yes.
For instance,
no more messing around with tickles and teases;
no more endless talking or laughing at one another;
no more heartful chat with most sincere words;
no more straight feeling of support and strength from the heart.
The relationship not turning sour;
but,
it just never become better.
Even those heartfelt little touch also no where to be found.
Perhaps should concentrate more on love if the true feeling can't be expressed correctly.
Because it is sweet and nice enough to know that one another is standing right there when another is in need of that.
I'm not feeling incontent with what I am receiving, I just know that there isn't any room for me to exist.
Because I do not know how to become your best friend. 第九十一篇 - 狮子踏上秤的一边， 斜了 有一把秤子，它不懂得很深入的事情，对于它身边的人事物，当秤的一边放上了一见物品，另一边自然就会用重量去衡量那物品。 应用最简单的平衡道理， 秤子在面对每一件事情的时候，都学着让自己保持稳定。 即使遇见了崩溃的事情，秤子也都会压制着另一边的衡力来维持不一边倒的局面。 对于来来去去的事情，秤子没有能力去维系每一个纠结。 但是秤子很用心的去细细体会每一个站到秤子的一边的事情， 深深的感受每一个悸动。
许多年前，秤子很认真的对待每一件事情； 许多年后， 秤子一如往昔的把握每一个际遇。
有一天， 秤子遇上了一只狮子。
可是后来，狮子离开了。
狮子留给秤子一席话： “你可以不必这么在意一个人， 因为没有人会永远都在。 你不需要去在乎对别人是否真的很好，因为他们有他们自己的一套”。
秤子对狮子说： “你可以这样不要一个朋友， 但是我不能”， 秤子接着说： “因为秤子不会明白什么对狮子是最重要， 就象狮子不了解为什么秤子只要找不到平衡就失去了意义。”
狮子觉得，就像踏遍了非洲的平原， 到每一个地方都一样。 在狮子的眼里， 来去自如是一种天赋。
但是它不知道， 当它踏上秤子的一边时， 秤子斜了...
它也不知道，它以为秤子自我得总是给了身边的人伤害而不自知； 但没发觉自己的随心所欲是否给别人带来了难过... 因为它不知道， 秤子有一个很敏感且脆弱的弹簧在心里， 那东西要是坏了， 秤子需要很久才能调回来...
There was a scale, who does not know too much about things in depth. Scale uses balance to weight things - what comes on the one side of the scale, it will add weight to the other side to make it balance. Adapting the simplest law of balance, the scale tries its very best to stay steady and stable whenever there is anything comes along. Even when there are times the scale almost got to its limit and almost fall into pieces, it still surpresses the other side to hold on. Scale is incapable of maintaning every single incident but it strives to feel every single thing that touches the heart.
Years ago, scale was serious in everything it encounters; year later, scale remains cherishing everything comes it's way.
One day, the scale met a lion; but the lion then left.
The lion told the scale, "you should not care so much, because no one will stay forever. You do not have to put so much concern whether you are good to anyone because they have their own believes."
The scale replied, "with all respect you can choose not to have anyone as friend, but I can't", "because" the scale continued, "the scale will never understand what is most important to a lion; and likewise to the lion, who will never understand the scale will lose it's purpose if it is out of balance".
The lion thinks it is like seeing every corner of the African wide land: every place is the same. It is in the lion's eyes that to be able to go anywhere freely is a nature.
But it doesn't know, the scale got slanted when it stepped on one side of it...
It also doesn't know, it thought the scale is self-centred and have hurted people around unwillingly but it never realise that it's actions of following it's own desire have ever brought any hard time to those around ...
Because it doesn't know, the scale has a very sensitive and fragile spring in heart. And the scale needs a lot of time to fix the spring if it is spoiled... 11月3日 第九十篇 昨天容维问我：“怎么最近的心情这么灰暗？怎么最近都没有看你提及小蔓？以前当你心情不好的时候，她都会给你打气。”
我笑得有点苦涩，因为我回答了跟当Nicholas跟我提及Moon的时候的同一句话：我快一个月没见到她了。
说真的，我很想念她呢！
因为我经常梦到她。
老人家常说的：日有所思，夜才会有所梦。
但是热恋很自然的把身边的人从圈子里推开。
那火圈范开了一个围，大家都识趣的自动回避。
知道她很忙，以前都会主动嘘寒问暖。
但是现在一旦想到给她打电话，难免就怕：会不会打扰人拍拖？
没有人说不可以尝试联络。
就像跟她在大概一个星期前的MSN言谈间，她通过我推介她看哪些电影来确定我过得是否很好，然后说：“很高兴得知你过得好好的”。
她也不会再打电话来喊：“doriskoon，你怎样了？”
人有一种自然的本能，就是懂得在适当的时候做适当的事情； 即使那不过是一厢情愿的认为适当。
恋爱给人滋润。
恋爱使人如沐春风。
恋爱让人心情愉快。
我当然希望她快乐。
我回答容维：“灰暗喔？我只是又懒了而已...”
很多人会觉得部落格多半是一个人的感觉写照。
那么，很自然的，当部落格谈及抒发情怀的文字时，大家都会联想那是感情的反映。
呵呵，是吗？ 11月2日 第八十九篇我想我是不够细腻的
我几乎对于感觉都非常被动
虽然相较之下
我比较擅于分析
触觉还算灵敏
但是我直嫌太迟钝了
粗枝大叶
没什么小心机
笨笨的
词穷
I am not a sensitive person
I almost very passive to everything
Although I may seem analytical and sharp to senses
But myself is too dumb in some way
careless
not neat at heart
stupid
speechless 11月1日 第八十八篇容维骂：“笨姐姐， 人不见了唷”
说着我好几天都没有上msn跟大家聊天了。
我平时都很吵。
这是我身边的朋友几乎一致认同的事情。
只要我有在，难有安宁日子可以过。
是称赞我还是在抱怨？
我不吵得时候，大家却告诉我：
“想念你的声音”
犯贱了。
就是要我适时吵一下静一下，
别吵翻天也别静到不存在似的。
你以为我是点唱机吗？
要我吵的时候就得吵；
要我静的时候就得静！
我静静去了。
我知道写了这篇东西之后，
大家都确定一件事：
都没想我
因为我刚吵过了。
My brother in Taiwan said, "Stupid sister, where have you been?"
Saying I was disappeared from MSN for a few days.
I am usually noisy.
This is what so called a common understanding about me amongst my friends.
They will never have peace of mind whenever I am around.
Is this a compliment or complain?
Just when I thought everyone's hoping me to stay quiet, they will say to me, "missed your voice"
What does that supposed to mean?
I shall repeat myself make some noise and become quiet?
Do not be too noisy nor too quiet?
What am I? A jukebox?
Make noise and be quiet when I should be! Let me be quiet now.
I know everyone will not miss me after this piece of thing is written.
Because I just made some noise. 10月30日 第八十七篇有没有试过有些人
你想要忘掉
却怎样都缠绕着你的思绪
久久不肯离去
即使过了若干日子
你以为你已经将对方淡忘
但是才转身
脏话差点就冲出口
X，原来还在！
然后
还有一些人
你怎么都记不住
即使那人叫了你的名字
你的第一个反应还是
“他一定是认错人了”
想忘的却忘不掉
想记的又记不了
生活可以假装很忙
或者也可以真的很忙
但是你忙归忙
你一闲下来
那想忘的影子就在召唤
而那你想用力记得的
才说要记得
就又忘了...
我没说是我
Have you ever experienced:
you tried so hard
wanted to forget someone
but the memory keeps coming back
even after some time
you thought you've finally got rid of that person
and suddenly realised
OH NO!
you almost got the vulgars rush out from your mouth:
the image is still there
beneath your memory slot
and then
there's someone
you wanted to remember so badly
but found out you can hardly recall anything about this person
and still convinced that he/she might have got the wrong person
even your name is being called
You can't remember what you want to keep in the memory
You can't forget what you want to wash away from the mind
You may pretend you have a very busy life from remembering someone
Or, you may really have a real busy life to keep you away from recalling
however you can go on and enjoy your busy life
because this person will call you when you pause and have that break
and the one that you remind yourself not to forget just disappeared the moment you said to yourself, "don't forget"
Well, I never it's me 10月29日 第八十六篇最近腰伤又来叩门。
我做了什么？
什么都没做。
什么都没做也会惹伤？
我当初就是这样伤的，就是这样什么都没做就伤的。
躺吧！躺吧！
又躺着了。
又躺着养伤。
真干他X的雪特！
Backache came back again.
What did I do?
I did nothing.
Backache came back because of no reason?
Well, when I got this ache, it was without any reason too.
Sleep then.
Lie down then.
And I am back in the bed again.
Back in the resting position - FLAT again.
SH*T! 10月27日 第八十五篇15年前
剧团呱呱坠地
那些元老们拼手抵足的把梦想围筑起来
经过这些年
今天终于看见有家的曙光了
嗯
15年了
这15年来每次遇上什么活动都得找地方
如果今天的意愿可以成事
剧团将找到一个落脚的地方
有一种感动
在心里蔓延...
期待着.................. 10月26日 第八十四篇今天只有一个不需要翻译的部落格。
I will be the answer
At the end of the line I will be there for you While you take the time In the burning of uncertainty I will be your solid ground I will hold the balance If you can't look down If it takes my whole life I won't break, I won't bend It will all be worth it Worth it in the end Cause I can only tell you what I know That I need you in my life When the stars have all gone out You'll still be burning so bright Cast me gently Into morning For the night has been unkind Take me to a Place so holy That I can wash this from my mind The memory of choosing not to fight 10月20日 第八十三篇睡眠的品质，直接影响一个人一天的精神。
精神的品质，直接影响一个人工作的表现。
表现的品质，直接影响老板对员工的印象。
印象的品质，直接影响那一位员工的前途。
所以，睡眠直接影响前途。
多可怕啊！
幸亏最近老板不在.........
The quality of sleep will directly determine the strength of the person that day;
The quality of strength will directly determine the performance of the person that day;
the quality of performance will directly determine the boss's impression toward the person that day;
the quality of impression will directly determine the future of the person.
Therefore, sleep determine future.
What a scary fact!
Luckily boss isn't around for these few days.... 10月18日 第八十二篇做了奇怪的梦
因为都是一些八竿子打不着边的人物全被串起来了 梦里的感觉被压得很低 就像所有的画面都被压缩了
是压抑的反映吗？
睡醒发现所有余温还在
只是不明白：你们闯进我的梦里面干什么？
是因为刚好在这个晚上你们都想起我吗？
或许我想太多了...
Had a weird dream last night.
Everyone that seems irrelevant got connected in some way.
The feel for the dream is rather short and flat,
like everything except the characters got pressed down.
The temperature of what left by the dream still remain when I got up
I just don't understand： why you all came into my dream?
Is it because each and everyone of you thought of me the same night so coincedently?
Perhaps not... 10月16日 第八十一篇最近常爬格子，尽说些有的没的。
最近常熬夜，尽在爬网。
最近像是有点发神经了。
Write quite some things lately, things that do not seem mean a thing.
Stay up late often lately, just crawling on net.
Guess am getting a little nuts here... 10月15日 第八十篇很老掉牙的话题。
很千篇一律的闷。 但是就像宗教谜一样的色彩，大家都在探讨，大家都在摸索。 感觉上这是很虚无的东西，不着边际的游走。
不像征服地球上的天涯海角一样可以拿着方向盘前进， 这玩意儿很多时候让人花尽力气依然是在原处盘旋。 究竟还是因为心里面有个叫做执著的地方，
像个盲点，总叫人致力去否认它的存在。 完了还是在那里，侍机把人吞噬。 不是伟人，也不是什么了不起的家伙，
老是静静的在一个角落， 看着缘起缘灭， 究竟看见了什么？ 我回想当年的固执，
一心以为所谓的因果， 就是本来铺排好， 等着让我走上去的故事。 其实，
那故事本来就没先写好。 只是身在其中者， 一厢情愿的认为那是必经之路而已。 完了摔完一身的伤，
我发现那只是一件事： 固执的因果。 跟自以为是的因果论没关系。
就这么着吧！
因果的循环不在故事的编排里， 精彩的是人的想象力。 你相信我说的吗？
去看看般若诺波罗蜜多心经吧！
不在于学佛，而在于领悟。 这轮回，很有趣。 第七十九篇昨天下午去把手机接回来，才心想:"给洞洞补丁了，以后联络纪录就不再丢三落四了"。
还没来得及开心，我就愣住了。
我熟悉的手机竟然变得陌生了。
我在手机的记忆里翻找，什么都没找出来。
三百多个联络，短讯，图片，录影等等的。
全出走了。
补丁有没成功没看见，里面的东西倒是倾巢而出，一件不留。
我什么都没骂。
只感觉到心底的压抑。
是吧！重新来过呗！
上天要我重新开始。
我一点一丁的捡拾。 10月14日 第七十八篇想必不会有太多人真的像我这样无聊，
走路的时候一直看自己的脚步吧？
很认真的去解剖自己的脚步，
从而希望可以更记得自己走过的路。
每一段故事都很有色彩，
每一个人物都给我教训，
每一次呼吸都深深刻印 -
那是每一个足迹的提醒。
I bet not many people will be as boring as I am to really look at own footsteps during walking. I am pretty serious in this, to study my own footsteps; hoping to make myself in remembering more about the roads that I have walked.
Every single story is filled with colours; every person I meet teaches me lessons; every breath engraves strong markings - they are every step I take and every memory I carry. 10月13日 第七十七篇 (The 77th Blog) I shall start writing something in English.
Or shall I say I will write something in both English and Chinese.
Perhaps you may wonder: why suddenly make such decision?
C'mon, everyone knows I don't write or speak, or to say, command very good English. So why on earth would I embarrass myself with the broken language, instead of sticking hard to my mother tongue?
I'd have to make the whole statement clear to you by starting the thing with "I have a f.u.c.k. (#friend you can keep)". Yes, it's a request from her, my best buddy, Joanne Leong; someone I met a few years back and instantly click that spark to become best buddy without second thought. She is fun, she is crazy, she is sacarstic, she is mean, but she is totally awesome.
So she said to me, "too bad I can't read your blog" (because she doesn't understand chinese - ya, the bb-na kind that most people claim but I never never and never ever say that to a best buddy of mine). I responded "so how ah? make two version ah? very difficult leh!" and she replied, "eh you gotta make some effort for your best buddy lah" and then there goes my totally straight and useless brain-nerve to answer, "ok lah, I'll see what I can do about it".
Now that may not sound like anything to anybody. But to us, it's the answer that both her and my mind take as a "YES, I WILL WRITE SOMETHING THAT CAN BE UNDERSTOOD". My friends know about this fella. I mean everyone, maybe not all but mostly who know me pretty ok, knows Joanne because I can hardly stop talking about her whenever I am talking about nutts staff. You know, you can't seperate nutts from a nutts (if you get what I mean). She has been my all time favourite especially when it comes to nonsense, crabs and our "buns of steel". Ok, I am not going to elaborate "buns of steel" here because it covers too wide and too much to talk about.
But one thing I am going to announce here is: SHE'S COMING TO SEE ME THIS DECEMBER!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep, the last time she came was when I limped like a monkey - met an accident and got all the ugly scars all over my legs. Then, the rest of the times I saw her were usually during my visit to KL. Ok ok, no bad mouthing about the best friend. She's still crazy, she's still sacarstic and she's still mean. But I love her because she is my FUCK (please, these four alphabets are seperated with full-stop, ok?).
10月10日 第七十六篇经过了漫长的黑夜
黎明滑破天际
放出了光芒
我在你脸上看见绽放的笑容
确定你在这段路上找到了阳光
难得可以看见你腼腆的样子
像颗青色的苹果
羞涩的表现出甜甜的笑容
我会记得那晚的月亮
我会记得那天的心
我会记得那在烛火上飘扬所许的愿
还有我很直接的向你要的
脸颊上的两个轻吻
希望你快乐
你一定会的 10月9日 第七十五篇该死的疲倦，害我破了马拉松不间断吃glucosamine的骄傲。
结果我的荣誉被扫了。
我像头战斗失败的丧家犬。
我像泄了气的球。
x x x
最近几天，胸怀里的心情很奇怪。
体质变酸了么？不然为什么老是感觉内里怪怪的。
x x x
快乐穿插酸涩，那是一种很微妙的感觉。
生活本身是一种成长。
没有所谓的好，没有所谓的坏。
没有所谓的对，没有所谓的错。
x x x
一些路，毕竟还是要自己去踏才能有个中体会。
所以，就走上去吧！
不管你需不需要，我都会在背后支持。
就像妮在我需要力量的时候从来不啬给我拥抱。
很多话，不需要说出来。
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免得你说我长气。 10月7日 第七十四篇《月亮代表谁的心》
曲：陶喆 | 词：陶喆/娃娃 | 编： 都怪那晚的月光 浪漫的让人心慌 其实原来没有怎样 只是夜有一点凉
爱忽然难舍难放 弯弯月亮在天上 看我们爱的痴狂 什么誓言都不要讲 我的吻在你肩膀 在你耳边轻轻唱 你问我爱你有多深 我爱你有几分
我的情也真 我的爱也真 月亮代表我的心 oh yeah 圆圆月亮在天上 看人们聚散无常
一个人在街上游荡 爱恨心里已两茫茫 yeah
我没有想象坚强
初一十五的月亮(有些忧伤) 天天变的不一样(在你脸上)
原来所谓地久天长 也只是误会一场 那首歌我慢慢唱
你问我爱你有多深 我爱你有几分
我的情也真 我的爱也不会变
月亮代表我的心 轻轻的一个吻(轻轻baby just a little kiss) 曾经打动你的心(打动我的心) 深深的一段情(一段情) 成了回忆到如今(从此我会永远思念) 我问你爱我有多深 你爱我有几分
你去想一想 你去看一看 月亮代表谁的心 月亮代表谁的心 月亮代表谁的心 |
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